Yes, That's Life - But It's Never All It Seems

Michael Buble sings about it; someone made a board-game about it; and let's not forget the COUNTLESS movies, documentaries, games, etc, etc about it.  Yep, life can be a very prosperous money-maker for a lot of people. But not everyone.

There's an adage that says "kids should come with a handbook". Oh, if only!!!  What a money-spinner that would be!!!  But who thinks that life needs one, too?  Me!!

For some people, their handbook is the Bible; indeed, the Word of God is absolutely chocka with guidelines for so many different aspects of living.  For others, they might turn to self-styled gurus who have the multi-million-dollar lifestyles paid for by their TV shows and hundreds of books. And others yet might seek advice from friends and/or family.

If you have seen my previous "life" post, you would have noticed it provided a glimpse into the chicky behind the Goof.  And, as with everyone else, there is a back story to that person.

The cute photos hid an extremely dysfunctional family life, the shadow of which continued right through to adulthood.  They don't show the reality of a deeply shy little girl, and young woman, who struggled to make friends and have rgular peer relationships; a girl who was such a sook that if anyone looked at her the wrong way, she'd go crying to her older sister.  Nor do they depict the child who was a Daddy's girl, until someone told him he was too soft with her, so he went to the opposite extreme.  The comments about my love of food are quite correct.  Comfort eating was my friend, my way of dealing with the loneliness, bullying, and fighting at home, as well as subsequent issues in adulthood, including depression.  As to be expected, the weight went on, and wasn't letting go without a fight.  It's something I still struggle with, but now I'm comin' out swingin' at it!!

Don't get me wrong, my formative years weren't all doom and gloom.  It just seemed that way.  Materially, we had everything we needed, and a lot of what we wanted.  I'm the first to admit that I was a spoilt brat when I was a kid, and still was spoilt - although not as much - right up to when my mother passed on 5 years ago.  But the emotionally nurturing that we really needed wasn't there; it was a home of anger, control and fear, not love.

Which led me to vow that when I became a mother, I would make sure that my kids would not have the same kind of upbringing.  And I hope I acheived that goal.  We certainly had our struggles as the offspring grew and developed to adulthood.  But certain health issues helped to develop an incredible bond between us that still stand strong to this day.  And I am extremely pleased with that. Life as a single parent meant that I couldn't provide everything we wanted, but that was a good thing, because we learnt

• (a) to make do with what we had, and don't be too proud to accept a helping hand; and 
• (b) that material possessions don't matter as much as we think.

Gosh, that all seems really depressing, doesn't it?  And that's only some of it.  But I promise it's not all gloomy-gus fodder.  In fact, there have been a whole lot of positive stemming from what was seemingly a life-time of negatives.




For example, my faith.

The Bible classes I went to in primary school was the fertile ground that the mustard seed was planted in.  A brief sojourn into the New Age spiritual arena as an adult helped me realise that wasn't for me.  Ironically, it was becoming a single mum that helped me get my foot in the door of the Salvation Army - and I was on my way.

Now, some 20+ years down the track, I'm a baptised, bible-studying, psalm-singin' Christian, who owes a whole lot to my Heavenly Father for not giving up on a sinner like me.  HALLELUJAH!!!

And then there's friendship.

When I was younger, all I wanted was to be popular, and have a lot of friends.  Now I know it's not that important.  I can count the number of really good friends I have on ten fingers or less: some from high school,  some from churches, some from that great university of life - including My Wonderful WookieeMan.  Oh, there are quite a few aquaintences, but only a few that I know I can turn to in the not-quite-so-rosy times.

So BlondeFT, BodyGuard, Baroness, FarmGirlScout, Crafty, WookieeMan - I thank you all for your friendship and support, and your help along the way over the years to becoming the Goof I am today. Love you all in my own way.



 

Let's see, what else is there...?  Oh yeah - the lessons

No matter where we come from, no-one is immune to problems or struggles.  There isn't one person in this great big ol' world of ours that hasn't been touched by something:- whether it be health or financial issues, dysfunction in family or relationship, unemployment, homelessness; everyone from presidents and royalty, celebrities and politicians, millionaires and professionals, right on down to the person at the food bank or soup kitchen. 

I had a timely reminder of this the other day, in the supermarket.  There was a family of three adults and 2 young children.  One of the adults was keeping the kids entertained in the trolley, the problem was that their squeals of glee were just that - squeals, bordering on screams and shrieks.  It seemed that no matter where I was in the supermarket, they weren't that far away, and it was really starting to get to me a bit.

Halfway through my shopping, I noticed that there was something different about this group:  two of the adults were using sign language.  I found that that the whole family - including the kids - had some level of deafness.  But if I hadn't stopped to ask them about the signing (and communicate with them in my very ultrabasic NZSL), I never would have known.  It made a big difference, and the two littlies gave me such beaming smiles and waves when they saw me again at the checkouts.

Everyone has a story - but unless we take a chance to find out, we just don't know what it is.  And so we go on in our own judgemental way.

~//~

Well, it's nearly that time of year again.  Only a few more sleeps till December 25.  The Silly Season; commemoration of Jesus' birth; a time to eat, drink and/or be merry; be with family and friends.  Whatever you do this holiday season, whether you celebrate Christmas or Hannukah, or just let the day go by with no special acknowledgment, I wish you all a very safe and happy festive season, and a very prosperous 2015.  God bless you all.

 

Mere Kirihimete!!                    

Merry Christmas!

Y'all come back now, y'hear?!