Let's Talk About... Health and Employment (8) - 3 Month Check-in...

I'VE HAD A FEW PEOPLE ASK ME HOW I'M DOING, AND I REALISED I HAVEN'T POSTED A GENERAL UPDATE FOR A WHILE. THIS IS ONE I STARTED IN MAY (oops - my bad!! 😶😲), AND RATHER THAN DELETE IT, IT ONLY NEEDED A COUPLE OF WORDS TO CLOSE IT OFF.

SO HERE IT IS; BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, I GUESS.  

A FRESH UPDATE WILL FOLLOW SHORTLY. PROMISE!!

Hi there again, welcome back :-)

This month marked another one of those annual happenings that we all have... I had another birthday.  So what better time for a spot of reflection, I thought to myself.  Why not, indeed!

The day itself was relatively quiet.  WookieeMan knows that anything Harry Potter or WWE (within reason) makes for a happy Goofy, and my birthday was no exception.  I can now count a Gryffindor scarf (even though I'm Hufflepuff - who cares, it's HP) and Shawn Michaels' autobiography among my possessions.  Yuss!

It also marked three months since my return visit to the State of Unemployment, and there has been a marked improvement in that time.  If I can see it, then there's gotta be summat there.

That doesn't mean that it's all good now.  Last week has been a bit tough.  The "suit" came on again when I went out with DP one day, but fortunately didn't stay on all day, though.  We went to a lifestyle expo, and had a good walk around but didn't spend much (which was fortunate, as I didn't have the funds needed for all the glorious gadgets, gizmos and goo that I would have brought home otherwise).

To be honest, earlier in the week I came very close to not going.  Some anxiety and downness reared their ugly heads again, but this time I was a bit more prepared; once or twice I gave in to the urge to hibernate a bit and nap, which was not necessarily a bad thing.  The rest of the time, I pulled up the big-girl britches and carried on through it.

A couple of realisations came out of it, though:

1 - A chat with WM helped me realise that I need to pick up the pace around home a bit more, and be more productive.  I sure started off with a hiss and a raw 3 months ago, but that didn't last - DARN it.

2 - I'm feeling a bit of social isolation.  I especially am missing our church family, as we haven't been for a few weeks.  I feel it when I'm out and about, and suddenly start trying to think of someone I could go and visit.  I read this week that even if you don't really feel up to it, that can be one of the great times to hang out with someone else; it gives you something else to focus on.  It especially works well if it's someone who "gets" it - someone who won't look at you sideways if there are periods of silence, because they know you value each other's company, especially in the struggles.

On the job front, I have applied for a few in the last few months.  I got one interview, but was unsuccessful; sent out a few expression of interest emails and CVs to some organisations that I wouldn't mind working with - some got back to me, some didn't (typical, but then you get that with the big - and small - jobs).

When I was at the expo, there was a company promoting their business, which happens to be community support work - which coincidentally is the field I am looking to get into.  So, me being me, I bowled on up and mentioned that I'm looking for work as a support worker.  I was given the coordinator's card and invited to call in and see her for a chat.  I took the chance to email my CV to her over the weekend, and the upshot is I go and see her for an interview this week. Bonus!

So... at the end of the day, what have I learnt/discovered so far on this journey?

- The Black Dog sucks!  But he doesn't rule the roost around here.
- Even if you think it's going to take so long to get through this and come out the other end - if you ever do -, that's not necessarily a bad thing.  Because your mind and brain, just like other parts of your body, need time to heel.  Depression and anxiety are not a small thing.  Together or apart, they are illnesses.  And you can't just ignore an illness and carry on as though everything is just peachy keen, jelly bean. GIVE YOURSELF TIME!

Till next time...

                                                       Take care, y'all

Let's Talk About... Health and Employment (5) - 1 Month Down!

UPDATE: 4 weeks gone - 1 month since I became unemployed! Things seem to be settling down in some ways. But I'm not feeling quite as chipper as I was. Part of that is because I'm more tired, and when you get tired it so much easier to get cranky and down on yourself. Yup. Uh-huh. My motivation to do things has definitely left town without me. So... What can be done about this? I can LIMIT THE TECHNOLOGY!! I've noticed (and you may have seen this too) that I've been on FB a lot more in the last month. Quite a marked increase, in fact. At any time, almost. Curse you, smartphone!!

Let's Talk About... Health and Employment (3)... Progression

UPDATE (for anyone who would like to know): Week 2 has been and gone, and week 3 is now underway. Last week was better, with not so many anxious moments. Psych sessions are underway, and so far so good.  I'm learning that it's good to refocus on something else in the anxious moments, as distraction is good - PROVIDED that we realise that the underlying cause will still be there until we learn what it is and how to deal with it, if not get rid of it altogether. Moments of hibernation can be a good thing, too... my safe spot is curled up by my pillow with a good book - usually Harry Potter, but I'm trying to diversify my go-to security tools (currently I'm reading Maggie Smith's biography). Let's see... GP follow-up went well; she's quite pleased with progress, and is a real breath of fresh air. I asked her about a referral that we discussed, only to find out that she'd already sent it off electronically - no fuss or bother, or "I-can-refer-you-but-they-probably-won't-accept-it-because-of-budget-cuts" that I had come to expect. I didn't get placed in the top-3 for my competition final, but apparently I did make the top 4 or 5 - out of 15. DP took a video of one of my songs, and after watching the vid, I can see why I didn't get placed. It's all good, and there will be other chances. I'm not going to give up; it's great for confidence, not to mention fun :-) This week sees our WINZ entitlement finally sorted out; another interview with Workwise tomorrow - I have applied for a role of casual support worker with an organisation who suggested that it might be a better way to start, rather than going straight into a permanent role; and in retrospect, I can understand that logic. The fact that I was a bit flustered and disorganised this morning for a meeting seems to be to be a good indication that I'm not quite ready for full-time work. I also have another psych appointment, and a day trip with our girl on Friday on a family matter. Afternoon tea on Saturday with our buddies up the street. And in the middle of all that, WookieeMan and I have recently become sorta mentors (or, as WM referred to it, Jedi masters to our padawans) to one of my god-daughters and her fiance - an awesome young couple. So in among all that, once my head stops swiveling in all directions, I will be cooking, and doing other housewifey-type stuff that I'm sorta starting to get into again (wait - did I actually say that?!?!), and, of course, pacing myself, resting and nana-napping as required. Phew!! Have a great week, y'all!!

Let's Talk About... Health and Employment (2) - Progression

One week gone. It seems like so much longer! There have been definite signs of improvement; a couple of particularly shaky days, but I dealt with them. Psych sessions have started; other health follow-ups are all happening this month; plus I'm having a few nana naps. Progress is happening!

Let's Talk About... Health and Employment

There comes a time when hard decisions need to be made; in this instance, employment.  You weigh up the pros and cons, talk it over with your significant other, fret a little - or a lot.  Sometimes it may even seem that the cons outweigh the pros of the situation.   So, what's a body to do then? At the end of the day, it's a matter of what takes priority.  What's more important. Sooo... in February this year, it was decided that my health was more important than money... and I resigned from my job. It was a huge step, as with the exception of about 12 months ( if that) I've been with this organisation since Halloween 2005. It's where I met my awesome hubby. In March I would have been in my admin role for 8 years. But there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough. Because at the end of the day, we are people - not tools. It's no secret that I have battled depression for years. Just before Christmas, I was diagnosed with chronic depression, and my main stressor was my job. WookieeMan and I had both noticed the change that was happening, and that something had to give. So on New Years Day, I wrote an action plan around what I wanted to do with the job. On Tuesday I went into work and did one thing on the list, and it just snowballed from there - on the Friday of the same week, I submitted my resignation. So... what's next...? I am applying for jobs in a totally different line of work. But more importantly, I am taking a minimum of a month for myself as part of my recovery, and will be aiming to rediscover what I enjoy doing again. I started this last night by entering a karaoke competition for the first time in years. (Six of us entered, and we all went through to the final in 2 weeks.) So I am now a service user in the mental health services that I just finished working in. A lot of people say "why do people also put such personal stuff on Facebook or wherever? They should just keep it off the internet, it's no-one else's business!" I look at things differently: if my story/circumstances can help someone else, then that's cool. I will always make myself available if anyone needs a hand or support with something that I can help with. I'm not ashamed of my illness. And that's what it is - an illness. I understand that I've been "putting a band-aid on a broken leg" so far. But now it's time to face it and deal with it once and for it. And that's what's going to happen. I don't say any of this to be a hero or attention-seeking or any of that other self-glorification junk. I am who I am - and a long time ago I learnt that it's ok to be myself, as long as it's not a self-serving exercise. So... onwards and upwards!!