Plans and Locusts

Thanks for dropping by, I hope all is going well in your world :-)

Have you had those moments when the lightbulb goes off?  I'm not talking about a power cut, here - I mean that second when the penny drops, the light blinds you and you suddenly come to an earth-shattering realisation.

I had a couple recently - although not quite enough to register on the Richter scale.  And I got excited. I realised that a couple of promises I was given years ago have actually come to pass. Let me explain.

Plans:

At the end of 2012, our circumstances were such that we had to move house.  The rental house we were in was sold; and with the offspring moving out, and a stack of bills/debts, we were not able to stay in the city we lived in.  Around about the same time, a small flat became available in a town about 40 minutes drive away.  My inital reaction was Nuh-Uh.  No way!  Absolutely not!!  Among other reasons, we would be going from a 3-bedroom house with gas heating, garage for storage, and a decent fenced yard, to a one-bedroomed self-contained flat with no heating.  Period.  Plus it meant longer travel time to work. And the town wasn't exactly the greatest place in the area. So, after lengthy discussions, I told Wookieeman "No", and went to bed.  And thought.

The next morning, I went out to the dining room where my hubby was, and said to him, "OK, let's do it."  His response? "Are you serious??  Who are you and what have you done with my wife??"

You see, my mind was made up that there was no way on God's green earth I was interesting in living in the small town. But the maker of said green earth had other ideas, and wouldn't let me have a closed mind about it.  

So how does all this tie in with promises? What promise am I waffling on about? 

 Jeremiah 29:11-12

That one.

We have been living in said one-bedroomed self-contained flat since November 2012.  It's been a huge adjustment for me - WookieeMan has lived here before, so it wasn't so difficult for him.  But since we've been here, we have experienced times of trials and troubles.  Such as:

Being on one income for about six months:  If we had stayed in the city, we would not have survived financially. 

Selling one car, and relying on one for both of us:  The car we sold belonged to the DP, who asked us to sell it.  While it did create an inconvenience, it was one less vehicle that needed warrants, rego, running costs, etc.  It also meant I had to start using the local bus transport, which was not always a wonderful experience.  But it left our car available for WookieeMan as he continued on his recovery journey.

Financial recovery:  When we moved here, paying the bills was a big struggle; the power bill was in the high hundreds, and the phone bill wasn't far behind.  We had to learn to cut back and live within our means.  We have awesome friends and family - including our church - who helped us occasionally, but it was a huge learning experience.  Thanks to tips and techniques we learnt through CAP Money (www.CAPmoney.org), we DID it!! And we are still heading in the right direction - praise God!  As a bonus, our power bill has been in credit, and the phone bill is also heading that way.  Woop woop!!!!

Locusts:

While I was a member of the Salvation Army, we had an interesting period where for about 4 weeks our officer (pastor) tried to deliver his sermon.  And for 4 weeks, the Spirit wouldn't let him.  It was a time of revelations, healings, teachings, etc... including, for me, the following promise:

Joel 2:25

²⁵ “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten — 

 the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm..."

If you've read my earlier posts, you'll be aware that my formative years and beyond were not all laughter and roses.  Anything but.  So there was a lot of "locust damage" hanging around.  But God brought people to me to help in all sorts of ways:  not only to provide guidance, friendship and love, but also to teach me about love, respect, acceptance, judgement, honesty, truth and worth.

By far, one of the most influential people the Lord has given me ... is my husband.  We have both learnt a lot about and from each other, and about and from others.  Very recently, an incident occured that left me concerned about how he would react to it; past history with my father - not good - about a similar event was very much in the back of my mind.  But WookieeMan was wonderful.  He looked after me, and did everything he could to SHOW me that while it was a biggie, the outcome certainly could have been a whole lot worse, and that it's ok.  I was like, "huh??  You have every right to be fuming mad, but you're not.  How does that work, again?"

Friends, that right there was some major healing for a whole lot of my locust damage. And there have been other healing times with him.  He loves me for the person that God made me to be. And I am more important to him that anything else, except our Lord.  We've been married aince 2009 years.  He's 8 years my junior.  And he is more of a man than anyone I have ever known.  

I thank God so very much for the gift of my WookieeMan.  Neither of us have any doubt that God brought us together for reasons known only to Him.

If you don't believe what I say about the promises, hey - that's cool.  But you are more than welcome to find out for yourself.  I've been talking to a good friend of mine recently, who I would say is an agnostic.  But she listens to what I have to say, without giving me a slap upside the head (for which I am very grateful!)  And I'd like to share something that I shared with her:

My bible has this commentary for John 20:24-28:  "Some people need to doubt before they believe.  If doubt leads to questions, questions lead to answers, and the answers are accepted, then doubt has done good work.  It is when doubt becomes stubborness and stubbornness becomes a lifestyle, that doubt harms faith.  When you doubt, don't stop there.  Let your doubt deepen your faith as you continue to search for the answer."

Don'tcha just LOVE it when we're given the OK to explore, and question?  That's how we learn.  And when we join the flock, it will be because we know that's where we're meant to be - not because someone says we have to.

 

Now I want you to head out there, and have one of the BEST days of your life!!  And I'll see you later!!

See you back here real soon!!

 

Stone Walls

Over the last 15ish-odd years, I've noticed that even though I am a very private person, there are some things that my family have become quite open about.  These subjects tend to be around health issues - especially mental health.

Sometimes we cross paths with someone like Gertrude, who might let slip about how Fred has been  really down or withdrawn or "h-e-double-toothpicks to live with, 'cos he's just so moody and snappy."  Comments like these tend to get my lil ears pricked up, and I wait paitently for a chance to make polite enquiries.  "How nosy you are!!" you might say. Or perhaps, "leave them alone, why are you bothering them?"  The thing is, I've found that a lot of people like Gertrude are struggling to cope.  Or maybe Fred just doesn't know what's going on, or doesn't want to admit that there is a problem.

That's a big thing for both Fred and Gertrude, not to mention Mum, Dad and the other friends and/or family members who deal with them on a sometimes daily basis. And because we've been there, done that, got the t-shirt and wore it out, it's something that we can greatly identify with.

It's just over a year ago that my wonderful hubby came out of a very dark depressive episode.  It's a place he'd been to a few times since his late teens/early twenties, but this was the worse one, resulting from a culmination of events builing up over a period of time.  I won't go into great details here, but his recovery journey involved medication changes, Crisis Team intervention and respite, and on-going support and treatment from our Community Mental Health Team.  Not to mention, a great deal of concern and worry for his friends and family, and a few more additions to my extra grey hair collection (although I recently heard them referred to as "blossoms on the almond trees before they reach full bloom").  During this time, we had a huge amount of support from our families, friends and especially our church family.  And of course, our Heavenly Father.  I'm extremely relieved and happy to state that he is now so much better, although occasionally I find myself watching for warning signs.

HOWEVER there are a few things/approaches that just DO NOT WORK when dealing with people going through things like this.  Let's start with:
"There is no such thing as depression":-  Oh yes, there jolly well is!! How did they come up with THAT cockamamie idea?!  While we haven't encountered this one ourselves, we have heard that there are some people around who think that it's a matter of unresolved sin, and if you just truly repent all will be well again, tra-la-la hip-hoorah.  Or something else along those lines.
Or, "It's all in your head":-  well, duh - mental health, hello????

And then there's the good ol "Why don't you just get over it already? You don't have to be such a sour puss all the time!!  Other people are worse off than you."  Believe me, they'd love nothing better, but it just doesn't work like that.  Sorry, folks. If anything, these tactics have the potential to make things a whole lot worse, and our already struggling loved one can start feeling like they're a burden, no-one wants me around, why should I bother, etc... 

One big thing we have learnt is that the first step to recovery from almost ANY difficult situation is admitting there's a problem in the first place.  And that can be a toughie.  Another lesson is, "let yourself feel however you feel".  Let's face it - in the grander scheme of things, your struggle may seem quite insignificant when compared to 3rd world problems. But in your own world, it's a huge thing that's happening to you, and it's important to deal with it. 

Look at it this way.  We all have our own little world, which may involve abuse from others, or addictions issues, or loneliness, or any other spectre.  Sure, we may be miserable, but at least it's familiar territory.  Around us, there's a big stone wall, and we have no idea what's on the other side.  We've been up on the top of the wall, but can't see anything.  "Ooh, scary! Don't wanna go there, gonna fall flat on my face, things will be worse, I'll just stay in my own little miserable comfort zone."  Like I said before, taking the first step of anything new is tough.  We don't know if anyone's going to take our hand or break our fall.


BUT we don't know if we don't try, right?  And someone IS there to take your hand and guide you.  It may be totally unexpected, but there is definitely someone waiting for you.  


Our stone walls can be anything; this isn't just about mental health issues, it can apply to almost any experience that brings you down and leaves you feeling less than human, or lower than a snake's belly.  I have had to step off a few stone walls of my own, so I do know what it can be like.

You ARE important, you ARE valuable, and you DO matter to someone.  Maybe you haven't felt that way for a very long time, but I can assure you that you are. Just remember - walls work two ways:  they can keep the world OUT, but they also keep the world from knowing what makes you such a special and wonderful person. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone.  In fact, let me take that one step further:  feel free to reach out to me, if you like, via comments.  I'm not a mental health clinician, I'm just someone who's been on both sides of more than one coin in life.
 

                                                              "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten..."
                                                                                                                          - Joel 2:25(a)