The Years Roll Over: Bring It On, I Say!!

 

HAP-PPY NEW YEAR!!  

Thanks for stopping by again,  I haven't seen you since last year - gosh, you're looking great!

Did you have a good festive season?  It was a quiet one for us, but that was all good.  WookieeMan had a birthday a few days after Christmas, and we both worked through, except for the stat days.  

But two 4-day weekends in a row - we ain't gonna grizzle too much :-)

And, of course, there was New Year.  Again, a quiet one at home, and in bed by midnight (!) - the neighbourhood fireworks made sure we were awake at the time, though.

At this time of year, a lot of people usually make New Years Resolutions.  Have you made any?  Care to share what they are?  I used to, but they never seemed to take long to break.  So, a couple of years ago, WookieeMan and I developed "a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a Weasley". We now have "a summit" around New Year, and discuss/decide what we want to acheive over the following 12 months - as a couple, and individually - in any area, be it socialising, health & fitness, work, hobbies, faith... you get the idea, and how we aim to acheive said goals.  I then type it up and print it on to wallet cards, which I laminate and keep in my wallet.  During the year, we check in with it from time to time, and next New Year, we review it - before starting the process all over again.  It's a great way to keep track of goals, and have accountability - not to mention, visually checking your acheivements over the year. Works for us!!

Ah, yes... challenges.  Don'tcha just... love 'em?!  They're not always good ones, but they make a difference nonetheless.  But there is one thing that I am determined about, this year:  something I started to realise and put into place over the last several months.  And that is: 

                    and

Up to this point, one of my main concerns in life was about how what I do or say affects others - dregs from the past. Did I come across as stoopid, dopey, irrelevant or worse?   But then I realised that it was impacting on my self-worth and mental health.  Then the proverbial lightbulb lit up;  maybe it's time to practice what I preach and share on Facebook.  Respect and honesty are still right at the top of my list, but now so is being true to who God made be to be, not what others think I should do.  After all,

Now I am in no way advocating just do what you want when you want, and hang everyone else.  Respect and honesty are right at the top of my list.  To my shame this has not always been the case.

In our daily devotional today, it talked about God transforming us, based on Romans 12:2:   

"All kinds of potential are locked into your spirit.  And for the Christian, transformation at its optimum is the outworking of the internal.  God placed certain things in you that must come out... and when you're tired of trying to unlock your own resources, allow Him to release in you the power to become whatever you need to be."  

"Christ empowers us to slip out of who we were forced to be, 

and transforms us into who He created us to be."  

(Bob & Debby Gass, "The Word For Today")

You may have noticed over previous posts that I possess somewhat of a sense of humour.  And that I like cutesy kinda stuff.  So in keeping with these traits, as well as living up to my newish philosopy (for want of a better word), and the New Year, let me leave you with a few little gems that tickled my funnybone (and speak volumes in the process), in the hope at least one will raise even the shadow of a smile; I would consider that a success. Loud chuckles, giggles and guffaws would be even better :-)

     

 

PS:  I'm really excited and thankful that there have been over 170 views of my little blog.  Thank you so much!!  Friends from the US of A, New Zealand, Australia, and France have stopped by.  Bonjour, mon ami, et merci.  My thoughts and prayers have been with you in light of the recent shocking events in Paris.
Please feel free to leave a comment below, if you so desire :-)

See y'all next time!!   

Yes, That's Life - But It's Never All It Seems

Michael Buble sings about it; someone made a board-game about it; and let's not forget the COUNTLESS movies, documentaries, games, etc, etc about it.  Yep, life can be a very prosperous money-maker for a lot of people. But not everyone.

There's an adage that says "kids should come with a handbook". Oh, if only!!!  What a money-spinner that would be!!!  But who thinks that life needs one, too?  Me!!

For some people, their handbook is the Bible; indeed, the Word of God is absolutely chocka with guidelines for so many different aspects of living.  For others, they might turn to self-styled gurus who have the multi-million-dollar lifestyles paid for by their TV shows and hundreds of books. And others yet might seek advice from friends and/or family.

If you have seen my previous "life" post, you would have noticed it provided a glimpse into the chicky behind the Goof.  And, as with everyone else, there is a back story to that person.

The cute photos hid an extremely dysfunctional family life, the shadow of which continued right through to adulthood.  They don't show the reality of a deeply shy little girl, and young woman, who struggled to make friends and have rgular peer relationships; a girl who was such a sook that if anyone looked at her the wrong way, she'd go crying to her older sister.  Nor do they depict the child who was a Daddy's girl, until someone told him he was too soft with her, so he went to the opposite extreme.  The comments about my love of food are quite correct.  Comfort eating was my friend, my way of dealing with the loneliness, bullying, and fighting at home, as well as subsequent issues in adulthood, including depression.  As to be expected, the weight went on, and wasn't letting go without a fight.  It's something I still struggle with, but now I'm comin' out swingin' at it!!

Don't get me wrong, my formative years weren't all doom and gloom.  It just seemed that way.  Materially, we had everything we needed, and a lot of what we wanted.  I'm the first to admit that I was a spoilt brat when I was a kid, and still was spoilt - although not as much - right up to when my mother passed on 5 years ago.  But the emotionally nurturing that we really needed wasn't there; it was a home of anger, control and fear, not love.

Which led me to vow that when I became a mother, I would make sure that my kids would not have the same kind of upbringing.  And I hope I acheived that goal.  We certainly had our struggles as the offspring grew and developed to adulthood.  But certain health issues helped to develop an incredible bond between us that still stand strong to this day.  And I am extremely pleased with that. Life as a single parent meant that I couldn't provide everything we wanted, but that was a good thing, because we learnt

• (a) to make do with what we had, and don't be too proud to accept a helping hand; and 
• (b) that material possessions don't matter as much as we think.

Gosh, that all seems really depressing, doesn't it?  And that's only some of it.  But I promise it's not all gloomy-gus fodder.  In fact, there have been a whole lot of positive stemming from what was seemingly a life-time of negatives.




For example, my faith.

The Bible classes I went to in primary school was the fertile ground that the mustard seed was planted in.  A brief sojourn into the New Age spiritual arena as an adult helped me realise that wasn't for me.  Ironically, it was becoming a single mum that helped me get my foot in the door of the Salvation Army - and I was on my way.

Now, some 20+ years down the track, I'm a baptised, bible-studying, psalm-singin' Christian, who owes a whole lot to my Heavenly Father for not giving up on a sinner like me.  HALLELUJAH!!!

And then there's friendship.

When I was younger, all I wanted was to be popular, and have a lot of friends.  Now I know it's not that important.  I can count the number of really good friends I have on ten fingers or less: some from high school,  some from churches, some from that great university of life - including My Wonderful WookieeMan.  Oh, there are quite a few aquaintences, but only a few that I know I can turn to in the not-quite-so-rosy times.

So BlondeFT, BodyGuard, Baroness, FarmGirlScout, Crafty, WookieeMan - I thank you all for your friendship and support, and your help along the way over the years to becoming the Goof I am today. Love you all in my own way.



 

Let's see, what else is there...?  Oh yeah - the lessons

No matter where we come from, no-one is immune to problems or struggles.  There isn't one person in this great big ol' world of ours that hasn't been touched by something:- whether it be health or financial issues, dysfunction in family or relationship, unemployment, homelessness; everyone from presidents and royalty, celebrities and politicians, millionaires and professionals, right on down to the person at the food bank or soup kitchen. 

I had a timely reminder of this the other day, in the supermarket.  There was a family of three adults and 2 young children.  One of the adults was keeping the kids entertained in the trolley, the problem was that their squeals of glee were just that - squeals, bordering on screams and shrieks.  It seemed that no matter where I was in the supermarket, they weren't that far away, and it was really starting to get to me a bit.

Halfway through my shopping, I noticed that there was something different about this group:  two of the adults were using sign language.  I found that that the whole family - including the kids - had some level of deafness.  But if I hadn't stopped to ask them about the signing (and communicate with them in my very ultrabasic NZSL), I never would have known.  It made a big difference, and the two littlies gave me such beaming smiles and waves when they saw me again at the checkouts.

Everyone has a story - but unless we take a chance to find out, we just don't know what it is.  And so we go on in our own judgemental way.

~//~

Well, it's nearly that time of year again.  Only a few more sleeps till December 25.  The Silly Season; commemoration of Jesus' birth; a time to eat, drink and/or be merry; be with family and friends.  Whatever you do this holiday season, whether you celebrate Christmas or Hannukah, or just let the day go by with no special acknowledgment, I wish you all a very safe and happy festive season, and a very prosperous 2015.  God bless you all.

 

Mere Kirihimete!!                    

Merry Christmas!

Y'all come back now, y'hear?!

That's Life!! (So Far...)

It's interesting how, at certain points in our life, we tend to get a bit retrospective; perhaps even a tad whimsical.  In a few months time, I hit another milestone - half a century on God's earth.  So I invite you now to come with me on a brief trip through my lifetime - 49 years worth, at least.

Lets start with the fan-tastical year of 1965, when this little cutie made an appearance :-)

We lived in a small hydro-electric village in the country, where my father worked as a station operator; I had a teddy-bear named Boo-Boo, who came everywhere with me.  And I still have him (although he's packed away somewhere now).  Can't remember much else from back then, so...


Onwards and upwards to circa-1969: 
My mother insisted on doing my hair in ringlets, which I strongly disliked;
Neil Armstrong set foot on our lunar satellite;  from all accounts, Bryan Adams had a fantastic "Summer of '69"; black-and-white TV; 33's, 45's and 78's; and it was the year before this wee lass endured her traumatic start to school life.
It was also around this time I was discovering I reeeeaaaalllyyy liked to sing :-D
And I liked food.

Around about 4 years later, 1973-ish:
Lassie, The Banana Splits, My Three Sons on TV (my life was centered around the goggle box); The French were nuclear testing in French Polynesia;  NZ entertainment was boosted by Mr Gumboots himself, Fred Dagg; Norm Kirk was Prime Minister; and I had my favourite Beatle Boots (a whole lot better than the white knee high socks and black lace-up shoes I had to wear!) 
Taking my mug to school for a cup of cocoa in the winter; later on, fish-and-chip lunches - it was a big deal to order your lunch at school; films in the library.  My love of music and drama was relatively well established by now (much to my family's pain).  I think it was around this time that I also started going to Bible Class one day a week after school, as well as Bible-in-Schools.  My journey towards Christianity had begun!  
It was also during these formative years, that I was an easy target for bullies - something that would continue for years; but I could always buy a spot in the 4-square line by trading my play-lunch, that was usually my mother's home cooking.
And in a few years time, thanks to some kids in my class, it would be revealed that I simply CAN NOT ABIDE SNAKES!!!!
But I still liked food. 


 
In 1976: 
McD's opened it's first restaurant in NZ, five years after Kentucky Fried Chicken; protests against apartheid and nuclear power were regular occurences;
Dad applied for a transfer, and we moved to an even smaller village.  This photo shows the entire school population.  There was no Bible class or Bible-in-Schools here.
And yup - I still loved food (which was starting to really show by now).

Moving right along, to 1978-82:
High school!!
To say I wasn't the brightest student in school would be a understatement :-p  I was more interested in detective stories like Nancy Drew, Trixie Belden and The Hardy Boys.  But I did make a few good friends, two or three of which I can still count among my small circle.  In fact, I just reconnected with one last week, and it was one of the greatest moments of my year.
My love of music continued, thanks to our school orchestra (I played violin, then viola - not greatly), and our school choir.  This book worm could also be found in the school library almost every lunch time.

Time marches on... After school, it was out into the big scary world;  I learnt to drive, had a few jobs, and joined the Scout movement as an Assistant Cub Leader.  This helped me get through some long periods of unemployment, and I learnt a lot of skills at the same time.  I was able to continue with leadership when I moved to the big city, and eventually back to my coastal home town. 

Eventually, I met a guy who would become my first husband, and father of my offspring.  An interesting and very enlightening period, which came to an end after about 7 years.

Life as a single mum was nothing if not challenging.  But I believe that for everything that happens, there is a lesson to be learnt:  it's what you do with that lesson that matters - you can let it make you, or break you.  And I chose to let it make me.  Not an easy choice, but it sure beats the alternative!!

Over the years between then and now, we moved to H-Town, where I got administration work in the local hospital.  Which is where I encountered an interesting individual known in this forum as WookieeMan.  A man with a passion for work, and heart for God.  And thankfully, he found room there for us.
And as you can see, I still reeeaaallly loved food.  And it loved me so much it didn't want to leave :-)

So, there it is - a very brief glimpse of my journey thus far.   Deliberately brief.  On purpose.  Oh, I do intend to expand on certain aspects... but that will be another story.

Till then...

y'all come back now, y'hear

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord.  

"Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.  

 Plans to give you hope and a future."

- Jeremiah 29:11

What To Do, What To Do?

When it comes to making decisions, I've yet to come across anyone who's a better ditherer than me.  Seriously.  It doesn't matter whether it's Do I Want A Snack With My Latte?; What Snack Shall I Have?; Do I Want This Brand, Or Shall I Try That Once 'Cos It's Cheaper?; these can be very big choices to make.

I'm sure I've frustrated (and amused) a fair few people over the years - not to mention, myself - with my wonderful indecisive skills:
"What fragrance do you like?"  That's easy - I'm a sucker for Jasmine and Vanilla - not the sickly cheap stuff, though.  Least fave?  Lavender.
"What's your favourite colour?" Now, that's NOT so easy.  It depends on the context; are we talking roses? That can get very complex - not fussed on plain red ones, but I am quite partial to pastel shades, or fiery sunsets, or deep blood red ones.
Anything else, like clothes, or just plain colours in general - nah, let's not go there just now.
A pearler of a question that gets thrown around at interviews:  "How would you react in this particular kind of situation?"  I know how I would LIKE to react.  In the past I have handled it in such-and-such a way, but I don't know for sure until I'm IN that particular kind of situation, because every time can be different.  

But in the grander scheme of things, there are other decisions to be made:  how will we choose to respond in different situations?  Such as, "I know Fred really won't be happy if I buy this little skull-and-crossbones jewellery box to go with the other 2,351 I've got at home, and we REALLY don't have the spare $350 for it... but it's just SOOO adorable!!"  So you buy it, and sure enough, Fred really isn't happy - for the stated reasons.

And then there's some biggies.  "I know my underage child's equally underage friends drink alcohol, and there's a high chance that could happen while he/she's there.  Do I let them go, or shall I be the proverbial stick-in-the-mud, and say No You're Not Going, I'm Going To Keep You Safe From The World"; "You only have your learner's licence, you are NOT going out driving with your friends at 11 o'clock on Friday night!" "But, Mum - everyone does it!!"

And there it is.  The good ol' "everyone does it" phrase that our kids love to throw at us.  But just because "everyone else" does it doesn't make it right.  That is one thing that DP (hopefully) took on board whilst growing up.

We shouldn't have to go along with the crowd, and with so-called societal values, just to make everyone around us happy, or to be cool.**  General rule of thumb:  if it doesn't feel right, and it goes against your morals and principles - don't do it.  The kids may gripe and moan, and maybe call you all the names under the sun (I have so been on the receiving end of that!),  but no matter how bad you may feel about it - it's so important that we stick to our guns - as long as the focus is to keep people safe.  "About the only thing a man can really call his own are his values" - Col. S Potter, MASH 4077.  We still need to let our kids grow, and experience life (within reason), so that they can learn to make their own good decisions; if we don't, they can tend to run riot a bit and end up in all sorts of situations. 

I have an interesting situation at the moment, where someone felt I was snubbing them - for 3 months.  It got to the stage where this person even spoke to a counsellor friend.  The thing is - I wasn't snubbing anyone!  It was a time where things were happening, and I may been distracted, or changing directions, or some such thing.  Around about the same time, a mutual aquaintance wanted to play a practical joke on this same person, but I cautioned them against it, because I knew they were not in a good place at the time.  That's all I said.  This person decided that I was blabbing about their personal business, and they'd been subjected to that too many times, and that's it - no more trusting people, thank you very much. The sad thing about it is that (a) I didn't blab - no details about anything were revealed - and (b) when they finally told me about both issues, the subject was not open for discussion. "It doesn't matter anymore, I'm over it now" was the response I got when trying to broach it.  A friendship down the tubes.

So now I'm in the awkward position of trying to figure out what to do.  From a Christian perspective, the Bible says to turn the other cheek; love your enemies; forgive and forget; and before trying to take the splinter from our brother's eye, to remove the log from your own eye.  From a human perspective, it's like "what the h-e-double-toothpick just happened here??  Did someone get the details of that tank that just ran over me??"

We're not responsible for other people's reactions.  Ultimately, I know that how this person chooses to respond is a matter of their perception, and their decision.  That doen't make it hurt any less, though. Dilemma, dilemma...

A friend of mine had a very good way of stopping me in my tracks when I was in the middle of a rant.  He'd calmly listen, and when I took a breather, he would say to me, "... where does it fit into the greater scheme of things?"  I can still hear him, and see his grin when he knew he'd taken the wind out of my sails.  But he's right.  I found it a useful yardstick many times.

But no matter what path or options we choose, there is always one thing we need to bear in mind:  we'd better be prepared for the outcomes that inevitably follow.  If I choose the piece of White Chocolate Oaty Caramel Slice to go with the Single Shot Latte with Trim Milk and 1 Stevia, then there's a good chance it will blow my healthy eating regime for the week and have an insidious weight gain (especially if I indulge in my weaknesses for PASTRY and CHOCOLATE).

When our friends/loved ones are going through trials, we can choose to get along side them and take their problems on in a personal way (been there, done that); we can distance ourselves and watch them struggle and/or sink (especially if it seems to be an on-going saga); or we can let them know we are there for them to help in anyway we can, BUT don't do everything for them - let them take the lead.


"If we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always got."  OR, we could dare to be different and check out what else life has to offer :-)

Y'all come back now, y'hear ?!    xoxo








(** Feel free to check out "Who Says Society Says" for more on this topic, if you haven't already)