Let's Talk About... Health and Employment (4)... Back Home Again

UPDATE: Bye-bye Week 3, greetings Week 4!

T'was a bit of an interesting time last week.

Some very close friends are going through a bit of a horrendous time right now, and WookieeMan and I are doing what we can to support them from afar. What surprised me was that anxiety did not raise its nasty head during all of the interactions we had. We are praying that their situation will be resolved in the best way possible, and that stress levels will drop all around.

I had a bitter-sweet trip back down to my old hometown on Friday with our DP. The reason for the trip was not a nice one at all, it was time for me to say farewell to someone who at one time was a very major part of my life, and who will be entering hospice care probably some time this week. It was a good time of healing, in some ways, and things were said in peace that needed to be said. Still sad, though.

It was also a chance for me to see one of my old stomping grounds, Whakatane Hospital - or rather, what was left of it.  The main hospital block is being demolished, presumably due to earthquake safety.  It was a shock to see the old girl coming down.  It was the first permanent job I ever had, way back in the mid-80's; it's where my offspring came into the world; and it's also where my mum passed away, 7 1/2 years ago.

And, of course, no trip back home is complete without a trip over the hill to THE gem of NZ beaches, Ohope.  Best beach in the country!!
 
Progress-wise, I did experience the odd downer, and had a couple of days where I wanted to hibernate. But rather than focus on the negative stuff, I've decided to think about some of the things I'm thankful for:
- We have food, clothes and shelter, 2 nutty pusscats, and wonderful family
- Basic finances are sorted, and a couple of other options are in the pipeline
- I have started on another crochet project, and am thinking about starting my blog back up
- I've started putting out feelers for casual/part-time support work roles, and updated my on-line job-site profiles
- There are still some wonderful people that I used to work with that I count among my friends
- And, of course, there are all of you - my cyberspace friends - some of who I know so well, some a little less well, some I have never met. But I thank you all for your support and communication.

Till next time...
... stay strong, stay safe, God bless you.
 

Toodles!!

Let's Talk About... Health and Employment (3)... Progression

UPDATE (for anyone who would like to know): Week 2 has been and gone, and week 3 is now underway. Last week was better, with not so many anxious moments. Psych sessions are underway, and so far so good.  I'm learning that it's good to refocus on something else in the anxious moments, as distraction is good - PROVIDED that we realise that the underlying cause will still be there until we learn what it is and how to deal with it, if not get rid of it altogether. Moments of hibernation can be a good thing, too... my safe spot is curled up by my pillow with a good book - usually Harry Potter, but I'm trying to diversify my go-to security tools (currently I'm reading Maggie Smith's biography). Let's see... GP follow-up went well; she's quite pleased with progress, and is a real breath of fresh air. I asked her about a referral that we discussed, only to find out that she'd already sent it off electronically - no fuss or bother, or "I-can-refer-you-but-they-probably-won't-accept-it-because-of-budget-cuts" that I had come to expect. I didn't get placed in the top-3 for my competition final, but apparently I did make the top 4 or 5 - out of 15. DP took a video of one of my songs, and after watching the vid, I can see why I didn't get placed. It's all good, and there will be other chances. I'm not going to give up; it's great for confidence, not to mention fun :-) This week sees our WINZ entitlement finally sorted out; another interview with Workwise tomorrow - I have applied for a role of casual support worker with an organisation who suggested that it might be a better way to start, rather than going straight into a permanent role; and in retrospect, I can understand that logic. The fact that I was a bit flustered and disorganised this morning for a meeting seems to be to be a good indication that I'm not quite ready for full-time work. I also have another psych appointment, and a day trip with our girl on Friday on a family matter. Afternoon tea on Saturday with our buddies up the street. And in the middle of all that, WookieeMan and I have recently become sorta mentors (or, as WM referred to it, Jedi masters to our padawans) to one of my god-daughters and her fiance - an awesome young couple. So in among all that, once my head stops swiveling in all directions, I will be cooking, and doing other housewifey-type stuff that I'm sorta starting to get into again (wait - did I actually say that?!?!), and, of course, pacing myself, resting and nana-napping as required. Phew!! Have a great week, y'all!!

Let's Talk About... Health and Employment (2) - Progression

One week gone. It seems like so much longer! There have been definite signs of improvement; a couple of particularly shaky days, but I dealt with them. Psych sessions have started; other health follow-ups are all happening this month; plus I'm having a few nana naps. Progress is happening!

Let's Talk About... Health and Employment

There comes a time when hard decisions need to be made; in this instance, employment.  You weigh up the pros and cons, talk it over with your significant other, fret a little - or a lot.  Sometimes it may even seem that the cons outweigh the pros of the situation.   So, what's a body to do then? At the end of the day, it's a matter of what takes priority.  What's more important. Sooo... in February this year, it was decided that my health was more important than money... and I resigned from my job. It was a huge step, as with the exception of about 12 months ( if that) I've been with this organisation since Halloween 2005. It's where I met my awesome hubby. In March I would have been in my admin role for 8 years. But there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough. Because at the end of the day, we are people - not tools. It's no secret that I have battled depression for years. Just before Christmas, I was diagnosed with chronic depression, and my main stressor was my job. WookieeMan and I had both noticed the change that was happening, and that something had to give. So on New Years Day, I wrote an action plan around what I wanted to do with the job. On Tuesday I went into work and did one thing on the list, and it just snowballed from there - on the Friday of the same week, I submitted my resignation. So... what's next...? I am applying for jobs in a totally different line of work. But more importantly, I am taking a minimum of a month for myself as part of my recovery, and will be aiming to rediscover what I enjoy doing again. I started this last night by entering a karaoke competition for the first time in years. (Six of us entered, and we all went through to the final in 2 weeks.) So I am now a service user in the mental health services that I just finished working in. A lot of people say "why do people also put such personal stuff on Facebook or wherever? They should just keep it off the internet, it's no-one else's business!" I look at things differently: if my story/circumstances can help someone else, then that's cool. I will always make myself available if anyone needs a hand or support with something that I can help with. I'm not ashamed of my illness. And that's what it is - an illness. I understand that I've been "putting a band-aid on a broken leg" so far. But now it's time to face it and deal with it once and for it. And that's what's going to happen. I don't say any of this to be a hero or attention-seeking or any of that other self-glorification junk. I am who I am - and a long time ago I learnt that it's ok to be myself, as long as it's not a self-serving exercise. So... onwards and upwards!!

Fresh Start, New Beginnings

Yes, I know it's been a while since you heard from me, and I can't actually say why that is.

But I decided I need to revisit my contribution to the wonderful world of Blogging.

The last year year or so since I was last here has seen a few changes happen in our lives, and there has been some pretty big impacts as a result. 

My next few posts may be about the biggest change that occurred a couple of months ago, that I started doing weekly updates about on my Facebook page.  But I have now decided that I will do them here instead.  The first few of these will be the updates I've already done on FB, so please bear with me if you've read them before

So thanks for not giving up on me.

It's GREAT to be back!! 

Plans and Locusts

Thanks for dropping by, I hope all is going well in your world :-)

Have you had those moments when the lightbulb goes off?  I'm not talking about a power cut, here - I mean that second when the penny drops, the light blinds you and you suddenly come to an earth-shattering realisation.

I had a couple recently - although not quite enough to register on the Richter scale.  And I got excited. I realised that a couple of promises I was given years ago have actually come to pass. Let me explain.

Plans:

At the end of 2012, our circumstances were such that we had to move house.  The rental house we were in was sold; and with the offspring moving out, and a stack of bills/debts, we were not able to stay in the city we lived in.  Around about the same time, a small flat became available in a town about 40 minutes drive away.  My inital reaction was Nuh-Uh.  No way!  Absolutely not!!  Among other reasons, we would be going from a 3-bedroom house with gas heating, garage for storage, and a decent fenced yard, to a one-bedroomed self-contained flat with no heating.  Period.  Plus it meant longer travel time to work. And the town wasn't exactly the greatest place in the area. So, after lengthy discussions, I told Wookieeman "No", and went to bed.  And thought.

The next morning, I went out to the dining room where my hubby was, and said to him, "OK, let's do it."  His response? "Are you serious??  Who are you and what have you done with my wife??"

You see, my mind was made up that there was no way on God's green earth I was interesting in living in the small town. But the maker of said green earth had other ideas, and wouldn't let me have a closed mind about it.  

So how does all this tie in with promises? What promise am I waffling on about? 

 Jeremiah 29:11-12

That one.

We have been living in said one-bedroomed self-contained flat since November 2012.  It's been a huge adjustment for me - WookieeMan has lived here before, so it wasn't so difficult for him.  But since we've been here, we have experienced times of trials and troubles.  Such as:

Being on one income for about six months:  If we had stayed in the city, we would not have survived financially. 

Selling one car, and relying on one for both of us:  The car we sold belonged to the DP, who asked us to sell it.  While it did create an inconvenience, it was one less vehicle that needed warrants, rego, running costs, etc.  It also meant I had to start using the local bus transport, which was not always a wonderful experience.  But it left our car available for WookieeMan as he continued on his recovery journey.

Financial recovery:  When we moved here, paying the bills was a big struggle; the power bill was in the high hundreds, and the phone bill wasn't far behind.  We had to learn to cut back and live within our means.  We have awesome friends and family - including our church - who helped us occasionally, but it was a huge learning experience.  Thanks to tips and techniques we learnt through CAP Money (www.CAPmoney.org), we DID it!! And we are still heading in the right direction - praise God!  As a bonus, our power bill has been in credit, and the phone bill is also heading that way.  Woop woop!!!!

Locusts:

While I was a member of the Salvation Army, we had an interesting period where for about 4 weeks our officer (pastor) tried to deliver his sermon.  And for 4 weeks, the Spirit wouldn't let him.  It was a time of revelations, healings, teachings, etc... including, for me, the following promise:

Joel 2:25

²⁵ “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten — 

 the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm..."

If you've read my earlier posts, you'll be aware that my formative years and beyond were not all laughter and roses.  Anything but.  So there was a lot of "locust damage" hanging around.  But God brought people to me to help in all sorts of ways:  not only to provide guidance, friendship and love, but also to teach me about love, respect, acceptance, judgement, honesty, truth and worth.

By far, one of the most influential people the Lord has given me ... is my husband.  We have both learnt a lot about and from each other, and about and from others.  Very recently, an incident occured that left me concerned about how he would react to it; past history with my father - not good - about a similar event was very much in the back of my mind.  But WookieeMan was wonderful.  He looked after me, and did everything he could to SHOW me that while it was a biggie, the outcome certainly could have been a whole lot worse, and that it's ok.  I was like, "huh??  You have every right to be fuming mad, but you're not.  How does that work, again?"

Friends, that right there was some major healing for a whole lot of my locust damage. And there have been other healing times with him.  He loves me for the person that God made me to be. And I am more important to him that anything else, except our Lord.  We've been married aince 2009 years.  He's 8 years my junior.  And he is more of a man than anyone I have ever known.  

I thank God so very much for the gift of my WookieeMan.  Neither of us have any doubt that God brought us together for reasons known only to Him.

If you don't believe what I say about the promises, hey - that's cool.  But you are more than welcome to find out for yourself.  I've been talking to a good friend of mine recently, who I would say is an agnostic.  But she listens to what I have to say, without giving me a slap upside the head (for which I am very grateful!)  And I'd like to share something that I shared with her:

My bible has this commentary for John 20:24-28:  "Some people need to doubt before they believe.  If doubt leads to questions, questions lead to answers, and the answers are accepted, then doubt has done good work.  It is when doubt becomes stubborness and stubbornness becomes a lifestyle, that doubt harms faith.  When you doubt, don't stop there.  Let your doubt deepen your faith as you continue to search for the answer."

Don'tcha just LOVE it when we're given the OK to explore, and question?  That's how we learn.  And when we join the flock, it will be because we know that's where we're meant to be - not because someone says we have to.

 

Now I want you to head out there, and have one of the BEST days of your life!!  And I'll see you later!!

See you back here real soon!!